LIFE... "im jus sayin"...

OFFICIALLY BACK MY PEOPLES!!!
i apologize for the long absence...i wont make excuses except for one- life happens-and thats not even an excuse, its just a reminder.


Umm this is another random thoughts post under the big heading of life so bear with it.

As i continue to live life everyday, to breath, lay down and close my eyes while continuing to breath, and later on open my eyes and breath some more, i have begun to categorize people.
[dont try this at home] but yes i have come to a simple realization that people can be separated into two different camps.
Those that know how to communicate correctly, and those that do not know how to communicate correctly.
Almost every success and every problem in life can be traced back to communication.
I use the term correct communication because we all can communicate. Babies cry to communicate, even animals communicate, but knowing the correct communication given the situation is the issue.
As children, struggles with proper communication that are linked to lack of training by parents are often passed off as a disorder like autism or aspergers. Its when this child comes into adulthood that the problem becomes very visible. The child that never was taught to address issues when offended but instead internalized the problem, now, as an adult, is hurting themselves and people around them over and over again. Turning simple matters into matters of life and death. And what seems like common sense to some, is another's greatest fear. If jill has beef with jack, many would say that the obvious first course of action would be for jill to approach jack on the matter. But in this communication dichotomy, the other side of the spectrum has jill talking to joe and jane about her beef with jack. But im getting too complicated...
Lets widen the lense and just talk about basic interpersonal communication rhetoric. Respect, awareness, patience, listening, acknowledgment...these are some of the terms that come to my mind when i think about communicating with another person. I fear that today, more and more those words are being replaced by hidden agenda, self, only listen to what benefits you, one word answer, self, arrogance, offensive, self, self...notice the trend. Without the branches the tree will wither and die. The eye cannot survive on its own, it cannot say to the rest of the body, "im just gonna do me now, but its been nice". Society is becoming introverted, people don't really need to communicate because everything is electronic and extrememly de-personalized and you only will communicate with someone or something if you have a vested interest in that person or thing. Since these days we show "care and interest" by joining the"cause" on facebook, or donating our worn out shoes to kids in africa, all we have to do is "communicate" with the lcd screen in 12 inches in front of our face.
So the demise of most personal of actions- correct communication- has impact on the global level. Why? Because when the smoke clears, we are all just humans, with many different languages but the same beating heart.
I wish it was an easy task to break down this dichotomy of communication...all we can do is help each other...by communicating.
So talk to someone today, and be real, tell them what you really think and odds are they might appreciate you for it...albeit you might get a black eye too but lets be real, i would rather know what you really think then some facade.
Ok.
Peace
Dweazaay yung money back on the track.

I havent been inspired till now...

I finally got to see Corinn and now the words are overflowing. Joy peace contentment exhilaration i .just cant describe it with simple words. Wow. I cant beleive this is happening AGAIN.... I got to see her twice in one year. Boy am I lucky. Blessed is more like it. Because often times curses are blessings in disguise....I was born cursed with mediocre looks and skinny legs and I was blessed with the AWESOMENESS that is known as Corinn A. Elmore. Everything about her is sooo intriguing and even though i am often left at a loss for words, i know that in the end she will help me to understand my life in the big scheme of things. For someone who doesnt know shit, I know that she is the shit. Thanks for listening. I wish you the same experience that I am having. Deuces.

Drizzy

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WHO I HAVE MET...and that i remember...

i just was realizing lately(i sometimes find myself in contemplative situations) that i have met and/or "know" a lot of famous and semi famous people.
Lets go back, to--
THE beginning...
Michael Clarke Duncan
Donald Faison
Drew Lachey
Brian McKnight
Jaleel White (aka steve urkel)
Queen Latifah
Terrell Owens
Marcellus Wiley
Matthew Hatchett
**NEVERMIND; THIS IS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER**
Antonio Pierce
Missy Elliot
Chris Paul
Tyson Chandler
Sam Cassell
Mike Epps
Drew Rosenhaus
Michael Maddox
Roy Williams
Kenny Lofton
Nick Cannon
Tony Rock
Jermaine Dupri
Cortez Bryant
Drake....the dude is pretty chill
Usher
Twist
Columbus Short
James Lesure
Vanessa and Angela Simmons
Ashlee Simpson
Lawrence Fishburne
***for each person on this list there is a story of what went down and how i know/met them.
if you want to know, just ask; ya dig meh??
peace

THE HYBRID BLESSING (compilation of shorts)

-That which we take for granted:
the nurturing, tender, loving care of family.
the admonishing, bruising, frustrating care of family.
the inspiring, confident, consistent care of family.
the loyal, lasting, collaborative care of family.
that and so much more which we oft take for granted.-

Life is dualisms.
good and bad
easy and difficult
hot and cold
soft and hard
success and failure
laughing and crying
remembering and forgetting
living and dying.


Have you ever imagined what it would be like; what emotions would course through your veins (your nervous system and brain to be anatomically correct) if you found out one day that you had a whole other family that you never knew about that had always been loving you and praying for you? Just as all the colors of the rainbow combine to brown, so would this pour all conflicting and adjacent emotions together to create a hybrid. So hard to put down on paper. So hard...


Hidden from my knowledge,
Hidden from my sight,
But effecting me regardless,
in ways that i will never truly know.
Oh that i could take a leap back,
and watch objective theatre style.
Forget this...this is what i need to say:
I have been loved by so many
blessed by so many
cared for by so many
supported by so many
developed by so many.

"Our greatest fear is fear itself"?
No Sir! My greatest fear is that i have amassed a debt of love that i cannot possibly repay.
My greatest fear is that I will be inadequate as a product of so many.
My greatest fear is that i will not meet the standard.
My greatest fear is Not that i will fail but that i might not succeed to the correct level.
But.
But.
My fear, and yes, even my greatest of fears, are crushed
Crushed by one greater then I am.
"One who shoes i am not fit to tie"
One who has power to repay the debt of love over and over again.
One who has real estate in the lives of humanity.
The One who prompted all those that invested deeply in me to do so.

So this is what i figure:
If i can spend the rest of my life endeavoring to please the One who put That love in the hearts of those that loved me, i might just make up for the debt of love.

Thank God for family. the glue that it is, the joy that it brings, the hope it restores, and the life that it gives. Amen.
Peace/

Missed

(here is what i would parallel with what you attempted to "create" some months ago...it is what it is, but at least this is REAL)



i missed her voice
her voice, soft and cool like the mist
mist that conjures up the soul to beleive
to beleive in more the the voice alone
transported alone across the waves
-not the waves of the sea but invisible waves-
into my ear and my head and my being.

the pang of irrational emotion-
but what is there in emotion that is rational?
must emotion, in short supply, be rationed?
no
the natural ebb and flow, like those waves of the sea-
will not be quelled.
And i say, let them come.
rather to be tossed about by churning waves
then to be detached- unable to feel a thing.

her voice
that which i missed
missed it like the morning mist must miss the once green grass in the summer heat
mysterious forces at work
but i know what i feel
let all work at what they must
and come what may
i hope
in the end
to find that which i have missed
and the one to whom it belongs as well.
peace

Failure Leading to Success.

flail, fail, prevail, all hail.
people like to think that this is the sequence that always will occur. Not really. Most likely that the first two will happen and thats it. I mean, if you look hard enough, dig deep enough, you could probably find some good in every time that you mess up. Something that you can learn from for the next time. But i hate it when people try to glorify failure as just part of a great process. it sucks. period. But anyway, thats not what i wanted to write about today.

Taking success from failure was the message at the bible study last night. It was a good time. Seeing people from a different school, a rival school nonetheless, all loving God together was a blessing. But the story doesnt really start till after we got back from the bible study. The game of fuseball that ensued after our return was heated. It was going back and forth, every goal cause for loud yelling. It was 8-8 and they scored. I went to go around the table to my left to give my friend on the opposing side a fake high-five. And i ccught my leg, or so i thought, on the table as i moved forward. I looked down and saw my friends dog attached to my right thigh.
WOW.
I have never been bitten seriously by a dog before. It didnt really hurt. We were all just shocked. I knew that the dog was partial to her master, but didnt know how protective she was, until then. I didnt get mad at the dog...it was instinct. She was protecting her master from my swift advance. And i like dogs. She was adopted by my friend, so who knows what she went through in the past. I am glad that he locked her into her kennel after she bit me though, because i would hate for the same situation to occur again, but with a different person who wouldnt be so forgiving. Folks, this was a legit bite....two fang gashes, about an inch apart on my upper right thigh. Pretty sore the next day, but no gangrene yet so thats a plus.
Anyway that was one of the more exciting events of my current life, so i thought i would throw it up here...
i will hopefully be putting out some more real talk soon, but until then.
peace

Losing a Coach

Today i lost a coach.
It wasnt even up for a vote.
It just happened.
Out of the blue.
39 YEARS of AGGIE FOOTBALL.
I got 1.5 out of the 39 and i still cried.

I have had many coaches in my life.
Some i was happy to see go.
Others, it was just a shame.
This was a shock.
This was a blow.
This coach is IRREPLACEABLE.
And he wasn't even "my"coach, but then again he was MY coach.

Of course there are reasons.
Understandable, logical reasons.
There is always a reason.
But something about the emotion of football, and the coach-player relationship, dims the logic of it.

I wish my coach the best.
He is a great man.
Some people tell you they are "great" by the way they act and carry themselves.
This man told me he was great through the mouths and testimonies of others, those who's lives he touched.
A multitude.

Some say crying is outside the "manbox".
i disagree.
When you see someone pour out their heart to a football team.
Everyday, for almost half a century.
And now the path of life must take them elsewhere, and you see the pain that this causes them.
Something ought to rise up inside of you.
It did in me.

When you leave someone, something that you LOVE.
Tears are shed.
And there is no "manbox".

The vacancy will never be filled.
There will always be a cavity, a hole where he belongs.
Nobody can replace that humor, that goofiness.
Nobody can replace the ideals, the integrity.
Nobody can replace the work ethic, the one liners.
Nobody can replace the kindness, the Heart.
Nobody can replace our coach, my coach.
Nobody.

Time is the enemy.
Time is always on the move.
But time will not take from me what you have given to me, coach.
The memories, the lessons, the advice, the handshake, the pat on the back, the final hug.
Those are enshrined.

So coach.
I am disappointed that the remaining years of my football career will be spent without you on the field with me.
But know that the remaining years of my football career will be spent with the lessons you taught, and the example you were.
Of AGGIE PRIDE
Exemplified to the fullest extent.

I will see you around.
And i will always appreciate and respect you coach.
You will always be.
MY COACH.