Brink of Betrayal

I recently had the privilege of viewing one of the most beautiful geographic landmarks in the world from the air.  Flying over the Grand Canyon is something i will never forget. Although i was 30,000 feet in the air, the canyons vivid character was clearly visible and majestic.  As i took in as much as i could, i wondered what it would be like to be standing at the edge of the mile deep monster, peering down, almost enchanted to jump.  

  I now revisit that thought.

I am at a crossroads, a fork, a dead end, a tollbooth, whatever ... any place that requires me to stop and make a decision. This is no easy, peace of cake, walk in the park deal. This is real live sequence, no anesthesia, no warning.  Staring over the edge at the unknown.  Not really knowing how to respond... because the outcome is still to come.  Speculation is heading off the investigation, holding jurisdiction over it, having a higher clearance level then disbelief, naivety, and even communication. 

And this calls into question my person as well.  Obviously i dont know myself because i would never have put myself in the category that i am in now.  Possibly duped.... low-key fooled like telling the 2 year old that we will come back to the park later.

Why is this happening?

There's is no way to know the answer at this point.

And yes, as i peer down into the grand canyon in my mind i am slightly tempted to jump.  Just to know what it feels like.

But i will not jump. 

Will i be pushed? 

That is a great question.